So ya wanna become an Aussie mate?

I was given this test by some co-workers. I knew I had failed when I answered the very last question and said I don't drink beer. Have a laugh folks! Not at the answers so much but the questions! We need to think of a good Canadian citizen test for all these Aussies! Seriously...send any good questions to me via facebook or email or comments of the blog...

The new AUSTRALIAN CITIZEN VALUES TEST

LANGUAGE

1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin, of the term 'died in the arse'?
are you serious? I am unable to do either

2. What is a mole? It is an animal that digs a hole in the ground or a bumpy discoloration on the skin.

3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey? no

4. Explain the following passage: 'In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo.' I can understand everything but the barney and a bit of biffo...oh ya, and the block bit? not gettin that either...

CUSTOMS

1. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash? way too many?

2. Complete the following sentences: a) 'If the van's rockin' don't bother knockin � b) You're going home in the back of a ute?� c) Fair suck of the what the? �

3. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss Thanks to Valma, I know fagged means bothered so...i get a tick for this one eh?

4. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie? Only on the viewing end...thankfully

5. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard 'up on blocks'? Is his name Keith and does he have a wife called Cheryl? Not that I know of!

FOOD

1. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming? I'm a better cook than that! oops! no offense

2. What are the ingredients in a rissole? mince, bread crumbs, egg, spices

3. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam. Bite off one corner, then bite off another corner, then suck hot milo through it until it almost is gonna fall apart and then devour the whole gooey choclatey mess

4. Do you have an Aunty Myrna who is famous for her tuna mornay and other dishes involving a can of cream of celery soup? I can only tell you the answer I gave to this question if you personally ask me to! To avoid any offense!

5. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been nicked from a bath full of ice? No but I do know what that means and actually I'd like a pav right about now. And I do love 3 bean salad! yummm

6. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own? Actually, I've been wondering about the answer to that question

7. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter 'b' is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot? beetroot

CULTURE

1. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots? lawn mower, yes...thongs, more than one kind...esky, sure...ugg boots, ummm...no

2. Is it possible to 'prang a car' while doing 'circle work'? I'm gonna guess no...what the crap are you talkin about?

3. Who would you like to crack on to? My husband????

4. Who is the most Australian: Kevin 'Bloody' Wilson, John 'True Blue' Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie? Probably Warnie.

5. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool? No, I've changed my ways since my white trailer trash days

6. Would you love to have a beer with Duncan? Who the heck is Duncan? And probably not because I don't drink beer which means I have probably failed my citizenship test right here and now.

I'm also thinking that because I sat here and answered all these stupid questions, that's grounds for failure as well...yup..true blue Canadian!